5 Ways to Deal with an Energy Thief
Have you had to deal with an energy thief?
You know her (or him). She's the one that thrives on negativity, drama, and victim-hood. She blames everyone else for everything that has happened in her life.
Here are five ways to deal with an energy thief:
1. Don't Engage Her
Hurt people hurt other people. So it's essential not to get engaged in the cross-fire. You know what they say, "misery loves company," and the energy thief wants to bring you down to her level. It typically begins with a jagged insult thrown your way from out of the blue.
Do not return the favor! Remember, she's hurting, and you must come from a place of compassion. I know it’s tough when she's throwing daggers and attempting to suck you dry of your very last drop of positive energy, but you must not engage in the negativity.
A great way to diffuse the situation is to craft a “feelings/needs response.” For example, "Could you be feeling [angry] because your need [for safety] is not being met?" Fill in with the appropriate feeling and need that fits the situation and see how she responds.
2. Be Prepared for Sympathy Rejection
She wants you in the trenches with her. For that reason, she may reject any sympathy you give her. She may be completely unable to allow compassion, caring, or even the space to hear anyone else's pain.
She has a minimal ability to see pain or hold space for your optimism. She has an expectation of a 5-year old embedded in an adult situation. It's all about HER, not you!
Remember that she is not your project. You are NOT entitled to save her. Offer her some resources to create her own happiness, but don't absorb the negative energy. It will haunt you and cause illness within you.
3. Step Away
Distance yourself from the situation. Unless you want to be a martyr or a victim, and in that case, she would love to have you in her circle of negativity.
You're an adult. You get to choose who you allow into your life. Treat it like a job interview. Only the best-qualified individuals are allowed to hang out with you. That's how you keep your sanity. That's how you keep your happiness. That's how you protect your health.
Always remember, negativity causes disease!
4. Shield Yourself
Take a deep breath and go to your happy place in your mind. Imagine yourself surrounded by a protective shield that makes the negativity bounce off of you and disappear.
Use this imaginary shield to protect yourself. Reassure yourself of all your positive traits. Remind yourself of all the goodness and joy you spread in the world.
Recharge yourself by being around positive co-workers, friends, and family. Play with a pet, practice self-care, go for a walk in nature. Do whatever it takes to fill your optimism tank to the brim. You deserve it!
5. Block Her
You didn't take the bait. Your sympathy was rejected. You offered resources. You protected yourself. And she's still trying to suck your energy like a milkshake. Thankfully, technology has a wonderful feature that comes in very handy in these situations.
Block her from all contact! When you use the "Block this Caller" feature, you will not receive phone calls, messages, or FaceTime from her. And here's the big bonus - she will not know you blocked her. That's a good thing because that would be throwing fuel on the fire.
Thieves, when robbed of the very source they desire, will move onto another easy target. Rejoice in the fact that you protected yourself, your happiness, and your health by shielding yourself from this thief.